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The Modern Throwbacks is The Most Radical Band in the Twin Cities!
The Modern Throwbacks are So Radical, They Had to Invent Our Own Genre: Psycho-BOOGIE!
If the Stray Cats and AC-DC had a Bastard Child, Billy ‘The Jack’ and the Modern Throwbacks would be that baby!
Video Live at POV’s – Summer 2012
…[The modern Throwbacks] are like the soundtrack to a bad Quentin Tarantino movie—
Billy ‘The Jack’ (second cousin to Mack ‘The Knife’) concocted the Modern Throwbacks’ tasty sound by using only the highest quality rock and roll ingredients: fast, swingin’ beats… riff-based hard rock guitars… Motown bass-lines… and a dash of whimsy for that special flavor!
Now Let’s Meet Us some Modern Throwbacks!
Mama H8R had a difficult — and painful — pregnancy. Baby H8R’s first kicks struck mama rather odd, for they started in a rock-steady rhythm from the beginning. As her belly grew into its impressive size, Baby H8R’s repertoire grew as well, varying from para-diddles under her ribs, radda-ping-dings on her spine and ribba-dibba dat-dat-dos throughout the length of their shared umbilicus. The double kick riffs while he turned over were the worst for Mama H8R, as she constantly reminds our poor hero with incessant force every time he returns to the roost — and which is also why Mark is reluctant to incorporate them into the Psycho-Boogie sound (much to Arrow and Jen’s consternation).
Needless to say, H8R has been a drummer all his life, and as we get to know him, we’ll include some of his insane resume into the Modern Throwbacks’ bio.
She was born to high society, raised to exacting standards, groomed in the finest of etiquette, schooled to the loftiest ideals and held to the highest standards. Her poise and charm are legend, for she can tame the most vile beast with just a sweet glance of her cobalt sparkle eyes.
While grooming her newest Appaloosa stallion the night after her sweet sixteen stunning debut, a tall, long-haired rock and roll stable hand attempted to give her his gift, which was packaged within the rhythmic “thump, thump” that jumped from the back seat of his 420 fast Camaro. It was the raw sound of seduction, the rhythm and the power of bass-heavy hard rock and roll, which in her sheltered life she had never experienced before.
As befitting a girl of her station, she was quick to spurn his physical advance—and her honor was spared. But her lust for that rumbled power remained, so she traded that fine young stallion in for a bass guitar—and a big amp. And she joined the rockin’est band ever, booming out that sweet, sexy low-end that you just can’t take your eyes off of.
And she lived happily ever after.
Her favorite rock and roll bands are Tool, Tool, Tool and yes, Tool.
He was the first one to join the Modern Throwbacks, playing that lead guitar like no-body’s business, riff and a rockin’ those fine psychedelic riffs like the devil herself. Like all lead guitarists, he can sometimes become lost in his own world, which is why it‘s so difficult to get a decent photo of him!
His animal nature was nurtured in a real live hippie commune that was tucked away inside a mountain valley, where his parents happily let him push the sonic boundaries of rock and roll with a hand hewed electric guitar powered by a stationary bicycle, his legs pumping furiously and his fingers strumming forcefully with the manic rhythm.
What you don’t know is that underneath that clean-cut classy exterior in those sharp duds lies an animal in a loin cloth—and keep that fire extinguisher handy, for he’ll burn the house down!
Billy ‘The Jack’ drives his soup-can rat-rod recklessly up and down the avenues of your soul. His maniacal voice penetrates deep into the hidden recesses of your psyche. And his sexuality and charisma are infamous! If it weren’t for the sanity of rock and roll, Billy would instead be leading a deep-woods religious cult, preaching in front of millions on Public Access TV.
Never one to dwell on what is popular — and too ingrained an individual to be one with any group, Billy ‘The Jack’ (second cousin to Mack ‘The Knife’) is a study in contradictions that conform to a normal that is anything but; because he couldn’t find any specific music scenes to merge with — nor could he decide on any sub-genre standard, he forged ahead with the Modern Throwbacks sound by combining everything he liked about rock and roll—and to hell with genres!
He likes energy in a rhythm and power in a guitar riff. He’s got a quick tongue and warped, biting humors. He croons, he roars, he stomps and soars. He’s a man of class with a touch of crass —and he’s always ready!
Some of his favorite musical acts include AC-DC, K.C. and the Sunshine Band, Wynonie Harris, Alice Cooper, Rick James, Ray Price, Skinny Puppy and Johnny Horton.
About The Redesign
I used to like a busy website, but now I don’t. So I redesigned this formerly busy site into a currently bland site, because our music is just as bland as this site is. (Actually, I do like my band a great deal. I think we are the greatest thing since a few minutes ago.)
(And, yes, the sidebar doesn’t quite center exactly. We know this, but Billy ‘The Jack’ — while he may be a decent drummer and half-a$$ed singer — is a less than technological genius.)